Monday, September 01, 2014

Sniveling Hysterical Pre-Periodic Twit

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I'm back! And you look like a blood clot. As I said last week I would be back "Monday-ish" and here's what I meant by that - I have posted a new round of "Beauty vs Beast" over at The Film Experience today, this time for one of my favorite comedies Big Business (which, as an aside, is crazy cheap on blu-ray on Amazon right now) in honor of Lily Tomlin's 75th birthday today. Oh sure I could've chosen something more honorable from her filmography but y'all know how much I love this movie, I don't care what anybody says. Anyway that's all I am posting today since it's a holiday and damn why are any of us even online at all right now? Head over there, vote, and then stuff a hot dog in your face. See you tomorrow!


Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Keep Yourselves Entertained

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Alright guys I'm headed off, homeward bound, all that not-so-happy jazz. I'll be back online come Monday-ish. Have a good Labor Day, et cetera, et cetera. See ya on the flip.
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Knock Knock Cousin Matthew Calling

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I was at the pleasantly perfect age when all those Fatal Attraction rip-offs came out - stuff like The Hand That Rocks the Cradle, The Crush, Pacific Heights, Fear with Marky Mark a'fingering, so on and on. They were great fun for awhile. You name it, Hollywood could find a way to make it from Hell. The Neighbor From Hell! The Nanny From Hell! The Ice Cream Truck Driver From Hell! And it's pretty clear that You're Next director Adam Wingard enjoyed those movies too because his new flick The Guest took me right back. (I suppose it's also got The Hitcher on its mind - would The Hitcher get filed alongside those previous titles?) 

Anyway save the slickly synth 80s soundtrack (I really dug the score by Steve Moore) we need to step back to the forementioned The Crush, the terrible 1993 "Alicia Silverstone torments a super-cute Cary Elwes" flick (and by terrible I obviously mean hugely entertaining) because that's the one that The Guest kept making me think of. Just flip the sides and age the good bad girl ever-so-slightly out of Lolita-territory and ta-dah, insta-fun.

Fun is the operative word - Wingard was very clearly having a hoot making this, and so should you watching it. When Dan Stevens sidles out of a steamy bathroom to a dripping bo-hunk beat, please giggle along, the camera and every single person in front and behind it is begging you to. Camp riffing aside, it's genuinely heart-pounding at times - a nasty streak comes scratching out at ya now and again keeping the whole thing off-balance, in a good way. Dan Stevens, who couldn't die quick enough for me on Downton Abbey, is all kinds of outta-nowhere entertaining - I guess Maggie Smith blew some faerie dust in his eyes as he headed out the door, because he's some kind of surprise magic here. Cousin Matthew I hardly knew ya!

The Guest hits theaters on September 17th!
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Sandy: Do you know what a sociopath is? 
Diana: Do they like ribs? 

Happy 44, Melissa McCarthy!
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Superman's All Wet

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And here I thought getting to see Eion Bailey's beautiful bushy upper body was going to be the gratuitous highlight of the day. Little could I have forseen Henry Cavill taking the ice-bucket-challenge in his Superman costume, super bulge forward!

Here's the video:
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Watch it at the link for a bigger version than I can post here.
But I did cap it some, hit the jump for those.
This is a lot to take in at once, you guys.


Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... getting a good look at Eion Bailey.

Ohhhhh myyyyyy godddddddd you guys.

One of my all-time furry favorites Eion Bailey (see plenty more of him in the archives) showed up on last week's episode of Ray Donovan apparently, and did nothing but strut around with his fur flying in the wind.

Clearly I needed to cap the living hell out of this scene, which I did,
right after the jump. Hit it, hair-lovers...

Calling Uncle

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That's the first official still of Armie Hammer and Henry Cavill (I have no idea who the woman is - is it Alicia Vikander?) in Guy Ritchie's The Man From U.N.C.L.E. movie (via) and that's fine and all but I preferred the pap-snaps from down under the balcony that we caught while they were filming...

... but then I think that's Henry's finest angle.
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Good Evening, America

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I don't know why there was a period where Chloe Sevigny got on my nerves half of the time, but that's no longer the case - I think right around the time she had her limbs cut off and crawled onto a child's gymnasium in American Horror Story I realized I should've been liking her all along. Playing Jean in American Psycho should have been more than enough all this time, anyway. I was a fool, Chloe! Anyway there's a really fun chat with her over at The Daily Beast today which talks a bunch about Whit Stillman and Kids and how New York's changed as a city and so on; the whole thing's worth reading but I liked this bit where she was asked if she's spoken to club-kid-killer Michael Alig since he got out of jail recently:

No. No. No. I feel like there was this weird thing when he did get out where everyone was posting about it. I knew him, but he never graced me with any acknowledgment. There was a big hierarchy in the club scene. He would never deign me with any sort of acknowledgment, because I was too low on the totem pole. But I was close with people that were close with him, and I always thought he was an asshole. And poor Angel, God rest his soul, he was an asshole, too. He would never sell me drugs because the pretty gay boys liked me. I would have to have my pretty gay boys go and get my drugs from Angel if I needed some sort of downer, because he wouldn’t even sell to me. 
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Where Would You Rather Be?

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Hanging out beside a waterfall with a half-naked Jason Momoa
OR
watching the Emmys with the probably intoxicated trio 
of Looking's Russell Tovey, Jonathan Groff, and Murray Bartlett?

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Pedro Pascal Five Times

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It's important that we give Pedro positive reinforcement at these times when he posts a gratuitous selfie asking for it, so he feels the need to continue. Give the dog a bone, et cetera, et cetera. He also did the ice bucket challenge, which you can watch at that link.

Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Good Morning, World

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A happy 23rd birthday to Teen Wolf's Dylan O'Brien, whose adorability only came to my attention once he and Tyler Hoechlin started hanging all over each other every chance they got. (I still don't watch Teen Wolf which I know, how is that possible, etc).

Their nomenclature is "Sterek"
in case you wanna do some searching.

As for Dylan he's got The Maze Runner coming out soon, which well I'm a little YA'd out these days, and I'm guessing I'm not alone by how the past few series (The Give-what?) have been received. I've got all I can invest in these sorts of things invested in the last pair of Hunger Games movies, I'm all fresh outta care. Sorry, dude.
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Monday, August 25, 2014

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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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Bulge Me Once Bulge On Me

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Bulge me twice, 
bulge on all of us. 

Okay clearly the folks over at The Leftovers are trolling the hell out of us here with last night's re-visitation of Justin Theroux's dancing dick-colletage. (Please tell me I just made that word up.) But we're going to let this one go cuz it's the World's Greatest Trolling. 

We need to send them one of those World's Greatest Dad mugs just with "Dad" scratched out and "Troll" written in permanent marker in its place. Hit the jump for some more caps...

Which is Hotter?

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Alexander Skarsgard: Citizen or Soldier?
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You can see a bunch more shots of Alex in Straw Dogs here; I was quite fond of his hillbilly farm-boy look in that movie, but I don't know if it tops half-naked fatigues. That's a hard one.

A happy 38th birthday to Alex today, here on this first day of his officially post-True-Blood. I did not watch the finale last night - I actually haven't watched any full episodes this season. But I have watched that scene of him and Ryan Kwanten going at it enough times that minute-wise I've got actually watching the show proper-like beaten though. And that's what matters.


Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... slipping and sliding with Chris Hemsworth.

I don't know who told him it's acceptable to wear a shirt while surfing, but he needs to go home, dig in his closet, and find ye old tight wet-suit of his, stat. Okay okay that will take too long - just surf naked then. It's a deal. Hit the jump for a few more shots...

Purify The Colors Purify My Mind

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I considered not going for a minute but I'm really glad I forced myself out of my doldrums last night and made my way out to Brooklyn to see Arcade Fire perform the final night of three - it turned out to be just what I needed to get my mind off of things. I had a fantastic spot on the floor; if you want to see more of my pictures I posted them over at Facebook, and I also posted several videos you can see at YouTube. The biggest deal for me was when David Byrne came out and performed with them for a song - you can watch that below.
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Beach Blanket Bond Bingo

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I realize I may be swaying your votes for this week's Goldfinger-themed episode of "Beauty vs Beast" over at The Film Experience by posting this mighty impressive picture of Sean Connery rocking his eeny weenie blue swim-trunks in that same said film, so here, maybe Gert Fröbe is more your type. I don't know you. GO VOTE.


Thrill Me Kill Me Matthew Bomer

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Well this certainly is one way to chip away a lil' bit at my shitty week - Matthew Bomer will do a one-episode stint on American Horror Story's fourth season, which is as we all know by now subtitled Freak Show. No word on what he's playing but Ryan Murphy offered up the word "warped" to describe it. Can he top the time that we saw a shirtless sweaty Matty gets his face sawed off and worn by Leatherface? Ball's in your court, Mr. Murphy. I hope you can do it. (Feel free to keep the "shirtless sweaty" part too.)
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