Wednesday, July 01, 2015

I Leave You With Ludwig

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Alexander Ludwig, that is. I'm off to watch Jake Gyllenhaal & Ellen Greene make beautiful music together so I figured I had to make it up to you somehow, and these gigantic pictures of the Vikings star stripped down are setting our computer screens on fire and thus seemed a step in the right gratuitous-ward direction.

These are via the latest issue of Flaunt, a magazine once again 
living up to its name. Hit the jump for a bunch more...

Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Rev. Harry Powell: There are things you do hate, Lord. 
Perfume-smellin' things, lacy things... things with curly hair. 

The great Charles Laughton, who directed this and only this,
was born on this day one hundred and sixteen years ago. 

Have you read the book his wife Elsa Lanchester
(Yes, The Bride of Frankenstein) wrote about him? You should.
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Dominic Cooper, Sinner

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Look at him making sinful merriment with a loosened clerical collar on the set of his upcoming show Preacher (via) - he's going straight to Hell! And I'm just the right devil to poke him with my pitchfork, wink wink.
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James Wolk Is Jimmy Wolk

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That's really the main takeaway from this piece on the actor in Esquire (the fact that he goes by "Jimmy" in his real life, not James) - well that and the delightful (and very very large - click 'em to embiggen) pictures of Jame... Jimmy therein. He will forthwith be known as Jimmy, it is so decreed!

Did anybody watch Zoo last night? Jame... JIMMY's new series debuted on CBS, but I missed it. There's a lot on Tuesday night's now! I was busy catching up with Halt and Catch Fire and True Detective and Penny Dreadful from Sunday while my DVR was recording Inside Amy Schumer and Chopped (shut up) and the new Scream series...

... but I'm curious about it. Mostly because of this pretty young thing, but still. Somebody tell me something! And then hit the jump we've got several more pictures of Jimmy Wolk to share...

Which Is Hotter?

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Scott Speedman as Liv Tyler's Man in The Strangers or
Viggo Mortensen as Liv Tyler's Man in Lord of the Rings?
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Happy 38, Liv!
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Today's Fanboy Delusion

Today I'd rather be...

... having a birthday snuggle with Sufjan.

A happy 40 to my favorite folk hero.
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Never Wanted To Be A Bowl Of Cheerios So Bad

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When I saw that there was a UK trailer out for the great Diary of a Teenage Girl my first thought was naturally -- ooh I bet that shows some naked Alexander Skarsgard! Because international trailers are usually freer with the nakedness than the US ones, see. But the new trailer actually plays those cards close to its vest, which I guess I'd appreciate more if I hadn't seen the movie already (here's my review) and was worried about it giving everything away. As is it gives a lot away so I'll just link to it over here. 

But hey look they've also released some new stills from the film, also via that link, and they're a little bit more Skarsgard-friendly. Good goddamn, him in those short running shorts... I just might have to go doodle my own thoughts about those...


Today's Mood

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Behold Ashley

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Ashley J. Williams, known to his friends and deadite foes simply as Ash, that is. Yup that right there is the first still (via) from Ash Vs Evil Dead, Starz' upcoming series from original creator Sam Raimi and original star Bruce Campbell. Chainsaw Hand, boom! Today is turning out to be a very very nice day, you guys. Bruce is surrounded by Ray Santiago (see more of him here) and Dana Delorenzo in that pic - no sight of Lucy Lawless yet but they probably don't want to kill us all dead with awesomeness right off the bat.
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Quote of the Day

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"He's a good kisser. But we both have scruffy bearded faces even if we shave. So, us putting out two beards together... man, when the kiss was over I pushed him off, like, 'Damn!'"

Damn indeed. That's Brian Bloom, who we just celebrated the birthday of yesterday, talking to TV Guide back in the day about making out with Chris Meloni on Oz. Great big bountiful thanks to Ruben for leaving a link to this in the comments; we'd never read it before and we, uh, dig the way it makes us feel. In related news our pal Manuel's series on the gay history of HBO over at the Film Experience actually got around to Oz today, along with notes on a few of the channel's other homo-friendly series too.


Pics of the Day

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I am bubbling and brewing inside my belly, I can barely contain my excitement about tonight's Little Shop of Horrors show starring Ellen Greene and Jake Gyllenhaal. These two pics (via) are from last night's dress rehearsal - they're doing three shows total, one tonight and two tomorrow. I love that Jake's gotten the full-on Teen Movie Nerdy Girl treatment - button his shirt up all the way and put some glasses on him and Suddenly it's Seymour. Ellen of course looks fabulous, and hey look it's Taran Killam as the mad dentist! Arghhhhhh I am sooooo excited I can't even make words to express it argggghhhhhhhhhhhh gimmmeeeeeeeee


Joe Manganiello Eight Times

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These pictures are via something called Haute Living magazine, and they are accompanied by an interview so long with this man you'll need to eat a meal and have a back-up snack before you make it out the other side. It is, as the seers say, overkill. Nobody needs a Joe Manganiello interview that runs thousands of words. Nobody.
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Still, nice pictures. And as I said in my Magic Mike XXL review this morning the two best scenes in the movie revolve around his character so he comes out looking pretty good. Not that Joe Manganiello has ever had a "looking good" problem...


Give Jobs A Hand

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The first full-length trailer for Danny Boyle's Steve Jobs, starring Michael Fassbender as the big man behind the big Mac, has arrived this morning (not counting that teaser trailer we saw several weeks back) and it looks great! The movie's out in October.

I see people on Twitter whinging that Fassy doesn't look like Jobs but that's got to be the most boring complaint in the history of complaints, right next to "Why isn't it in color?" or "Why are there subtitles?" and you should be ashamed of yourself if that's what you're focusing on. All that matters is that he captures the spirit of what's on the page and if what's on the page captures some truth about this man's legacy then we'll be good! Anyway here's the thing:
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Five Frames From ?

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What movie is this?
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And You Still Show Them Tits & Ass

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I feel as if there are two ways I need to review Magic Mike XXL. I need to tell you about it as a film, a proper film, and I need to tell you about the ass, the proper ass. Let's get the ass out of the way first since when it comes to ass I'm always impatient - I think the claims I've seen around that there's less nudity in this sequel than there was in the first movie might be right... but part of me also wonders, when it comes to the first film, if our brains might have mashed together the full strip routines that got released online outside of the film with what we see in Magic Mike Volume One, too. There's less nudity in the first Magic Mike than we project onto the finished film - in the finished film we only see glimpses of Matt Bomer's Ken Doll and Doctor routines and Joe Manganiello's golden-god, et cetera. The bit and pieces so firmly, deeply lodged in our brains came from the DVD extras.

While I'm not going to make a laundry list of the nudity that Magic Mike XXL does offer up -- although I was certainly fond of the moment where a bare-assed Joe Manganiello picks up Channing Tatum, and I think I might have gone temporarily blind when Matt Bomer reached into his stripper pants and pulled out a full fist of bulge -- it is going to disappoint those of you going to this movie just for nudity. Dick Count: still a big fat painfully non-phallic Zero. 

But the movie is still sexy, at least in spurts, and funny, and as a whole not half bad. As with most road trip movies it's discombobulated and episodic and some bits work better than others. But there are two scenes worth the price of admission alone, classics already if you ask me - you've glimpsed them both in the trailer. There's Joe Manganiello doing a routine inside a Quickie Mart for the befuddled and dour girl behind the counter that's easily the film's highlight (I'm gonna have "I Want It That Way" stuck in my head for weeks; Joe proves himself a deft comedian under those rock-hard everythings (although the less said about the moments where he's called on to act anything but goofy the better). And the scene at Andie McDowell's palatial Southern Fried Estate, where the accents are thick as molasses in Summah-tahm and the rivers run red with vino, is a small sexy delight from start to "glass slipper" finish.

What works, works. What works it, works it. I didn't really have a problem with Cody Horn in the first movie (here's my review of the first movie, by the way) but color me shocked that Amber Heard (who I usually find, Jessica Rabbit shape notwithstanding, flat as cardboard on-screen) is an improvement in the "Let's give Channing a lady to flirt with so it's not a sausage smorgasbord" department - this is gonna sound massively silly, and it is, but I actually honestly got a little misty-eyed when Channing taught her the power of letting go of your troubles and just having some fun by sitting on her face and grinding her. The power of magical thrusting! It is a balm for all of our souls, amen amen amen.


Good Morning, World

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I really couldn't figure out why I was reading the new character of Tom on Halt and Catch Fire as a sociopath ever since he showed up. Sure he read a little Patrick Bateman preppy and little "on the spectrum" as they say, but his romance with Cameron is sweet...

... and they don't seem to be hinting that he's stuffing prostitute's bodies in old Apple boxes or anything. And yet the feeling lingered...
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... and then this morning as I looked him up to post these pictures from this week's episode I realized how dumb I'm being - the actor Mark O'Brien did a couple episodes of Hannibal last year as, you guessed it, a preppy sociopath serial killer!

Ta-dah! We have a winner. He was terrifically creepy on Hannibal too. So much so that a lil' bit of that creep seems to have clung. Well, it's not like he'd be the first creep that Cameron ever slept with on the show...

And speaking of Lee Pace he had some good skin on this week's episode as well, I posted those pictures over on the Tumblr last night. I haven't checked how the show's doing in the ratings this year but I hope it's better and I hope y'all are watching - I ended up loving it last year after a rocky start and It's only getting better and better.
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Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Matthias Schoenaerts Four Times

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(via) In case you missed it The Film Experience did a nice run-through of Matthias' career to date via a poster gallery this past weekend, which is when A Little Chaos came out. Which I saw! And which was perfectly pleasant... though probably a little forgettable.
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There is one killer scene in the movie though, one that has nothing to do with Matthias (he's okay in the film but maybe a little bit intimidated? By Winslet + Rickman or maybe just by that damn wig?) -- the movie's worth watching for the scene where all the women of the court sit around in a back-room salon and discuss the things they're not allowed to speak of in court. Actually the scene immediately following that it really wonderful as well. If everything was up to that fifteen-minute-level it would've been a great film... alas, not to be. Still Kate looks gorgeous and I'm never not happy to drink her in. You could do worse. A ringing endorsement then!


Cat Man Cat Man Where Did You Come From

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I need to stop tweeting out brief thoughts on movies that I'm only ever going to have briefs thoughts on, because, for example, let's take David Gordon Green's latest film Manglehorn, which is his love letter to Al Pacino - I don't really have a ton to say about it beyond this tweet:
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I've never been much of a Pacino fan in the first place - only in films where his patented brand of Too Much are utilized appropriately, like say Scarface or Cruising, do I find myself relaxing with him on screen. That sounds paradoxical sort of but what I mean is the movie has to meet him on his same level of effort - it's gotta be pushing one way as he's pushing the other - for me to find an equilibrium. Otherwise all I see is him acting acting acting, and I'm not even talking about his obvious "Hoo ahh!" screaming performances - even his supposedly smaller stuff often rings hollow to me.  

Manglehorn's a good example of this because the movie's small and the performance is pretty small but it's still just adds up to a bunch of tics that don't make sense. I don't know what the hell that voice he was using was supposed to be and for a movie set adrift in voice-over that's a drowning sensation. And the movie itself eventually take Al's lead and hand in hand they tumble right off a cliff - a cliff of nonsense. They fall in love with their mutual masturbation, eyes locked in a self-destructing grimace, and the rest of us are just left standing there with a face full of "Come on now." So maybe David Gordon made the perfect Pacino movie in the end? I'm just not the audience for it. (Holly Hunter is pretty terrific though!)
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Today's Mood

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I'm sorry Jennifer Garner but I AM SO HAPPY
that your marriage to that creep is dead! Ding dong!
Good riddance to toxic rubbish!
Now get your career back, Jen! We love you!
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Everything You Ever Need To Know About Life...

... you can learn from:


Radio Raheem: Let me tell you the story of Right Hand, Left Hand. It's a tale of good and evil. Hate: it was with this hand that Cane iced his brother. Love: these five fingers, they go straight to the soul of man. The right hand: the hand of love. The story of life is this: static. One hand is always fighting the other hand, and the left hand is kicking much ass. I mean, it looks like the right hand, Love, is finished. But hold on, stop the presses, the right hand is coming back. Yeah, he got the left hand on the ropes, now, that's right. Ooh, it's a devastating right and Hate is hurt, he's down. Left-Hand Hate KOed by Love. 

Spike Lee's masterpiece came 26 years ago today.
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